Death and dying

Left to right: Me, Grandma: Maxine Filson, and Aunt Ann Christmas 07

Ya know it is never easy to face death...I know we will all have to die one day and I am not afraid of dying in the least bit. I also know when you hit 90 years old, it is only a matter of time before it is your time to go.

My grandma(father's mom) just turned 91 in September. She has lived a long life. I would even say she has lived longer than most people would have ever thought. My grandma has had diabetes since I was young, probably even before I was born! Recently she fell on the way to the bathroom and blacked out. She required a stay in the hospital for awhile. The last update I had was that she was getting better and would be going home any day. This morning I couldn't sleep(430am) and woke up to a facebook email from my cousin who lives in Colorado, telling me grandma has taken a turn for the worse and is in hospice and they don't expect her to live through the end of the year. I guess I am more sad I haven't been able to be up there in the last year. I always had plans to be up there, but never was able to get there. I really wanted to take Wyatt to meet her, I knew she didn't have much time left, being that she was 91.

I guess in reality I am more sad that she is in pain while passing on. I really pray that she is resting easily and not going thorugh a lot of pain. Now it is time to prepare myself to lose my last living grandparent. I will always have the memories of the times I had growing up. Living with my dad, that was the side of the family I saw the most. It's hard to know that she will soon be gone. It is kinda like loosing a part of my childhood, she was such a big part of it! Soon, she shall be in peace and no longer in the pain.

I love you Grandma!