Death and dying

Left to right: Me, Grandma: Maxine Filson, and Aunt Ann Christmas 07

Ya know it is never easy to face death...I know we will all have to die one day and I am not afraid of dying in the least bit. I also know when you hit 90 years old, it is only a matter of time before it is your time to go.

My grandma(father's mom) just turned 91 in September. She has lived a long life. I would even say she has lived longer than most people would have ever thought. My grandma has had diabetes since I was young, probably even before I was born! Recently she fell on the way to the bathroom and blacked out. She required a stay in the hospital for awhile. The last update I had was that she was getting better and would be going home any day. This morning I couldn't sleep(430am) and woke up to a facebook email from my cousin who lives in Colorado, telling me grandma has taken a turn for the worse and is in hospice and they don't expect her to live through the end of the year. I guess I am more sad I haven't been able to be up there in the last year. I always had plans to be up there, but never was able to get there. I really wanted to take Wyatt to meet her, I knew she didn't have much time left, being that she was 91.

I guess in reality I am more sad that she is in pain while passing on. I really pray that she is resting easily and not going thorugh a lot of pain. Now it is time to prepare myself to lose my last living grandparent. I will always have the memories of the times I had growing up. Living with my dad, that was the side of the family I saw the most. It's hard to know that she will soon be gone. It is kinda like loosing a part of my childhood, she was such a big part of it! Soon, she shall be in peace and no longer in the pain.

I love you Grandma!

Sleepy Saturday

Well, today Jerrod and I were recovering from horrible allergies...The Santa Ana's came in with a horrible vengence on our sinuses. I spent most the day relaxing and not doing anything house related. Jerrod on the other hand decided to start Wyatt's dresser/changing table. I had this small dresser growing up. It is a very simple dreser with 3 drawers and it wsn't very tall. I asked Jerrod if he would be able to turn it into a changing table as well. My Mr. Handyman went to work on this small project. He has added a shelf to the dresser and made it into a changing table as well. He has already primed it for painting and I am excited to post the final product here soon. For his hard work I went to Dairy Queen and bought an ice cream cake...I am also excited to eat this! :) Oh, I forgot he also decided to join me on the war on ants. We bought this liquid ant bate. The ants are taking it back to their nest and slowly they are dying!! YAY we may have won....
As, for me and this pregnancy...today was a day where I just felt huge and unable to move. I have a little mroe energy now, but still am feeling huge. I did enjoy my relaxing day...not that I have much to do during the week, but still! I did get the laundry done and made dinner...I also have a chicken in the crock-pot for tomorrow...We are having chicken n' dumplins....Oh and I made it to the grocery store! SO, I did do some things...just not much! Well, it is time for me to cut into that wonderful DQ ice cream cake!!! YYAYAYAYAY

33 week Doctors Apt

Well, today on my agenda was to go to my doctors appointment. Last week I had an ultra sound b/c of excessive weight gain in between my two apts. So, doctor Lin sent me in for an ultra sound. Now the ultra sound tech sucked and had no bed side manner. Made me completely nervous. I had to wait an entire week to get the results.
So, I go into the office today...dun dun dun get weighed dun dun dun...I weighed the same as last time...actually I lost a 1/2lb. WAHOOO!!! I am not fat! Next to find out my ultra sound results. Ok, so doctor comes in we start talking. Long story short...on 9/22 when I should be 32 weeks 2days...Wyatt measures like so Legs: 32 weeks 2 days :) Stomach 34weeks 2 days, ok fat kid...HEAD: 35weeks 2 days...seriously kid I have to push that outta me! Well, needless to say I now have to have another ultra sound in 3 weeks to see how he measures then...Other than all of that the doctor says it all looks normal and says there is nothing wrong with my son he is just a fatty right now...what is up with this doctor and calling us fat! gees! So, fingers crossed Wyatt levels out with his measurements in the next 3 weeks!

33 Weeks only 7 more or so to go!

Gosh it seems like just yesterday I was telling Jerrod I was pregnant...oh wait he did just find out! lol No, but really this time has flown by so fast. Wyatt will be here before we know it. I am hoping he can hold off till after the middle of next month. really it is only like 20 days I am asking for. This pregnancy hasn't been the easiest no, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I am not at an uncomfortable, hard to breathe point. Luckily it is cooling off around here so PJ's are totally exceptable to go places in. I broke out the UGGs yesterday and they were super comfortable. Wyatt still thinks my hips are his jungle gym at this point. The ultra sound tech from last Tuesday said, "Baby is head down and in the birthing position!" That is such a relief I mean as long as he doesn't go a flip on me! :) that would be my luck with this kid. Well, I am ready to get these next few weeks over with...I cant wait to meet my son!

Over to the right is a poll...when do you think baby Wyatt will arrive? ALso you can email me the day you think he will arrive @ Jenn2004ifer@gmail.com I would love to know your answers!

Emotions...

As the day of my sons birth quickly approaches I find myself not sure if I am ready to share him with the world! I mean I want him here so bad, but once he's here he's not just mine anymore. He's inside me kicking away and that is so special to me. I think this is the selfish side to me. Maybe it's the only child syndrom coming back from when I was a kid! :) I love feeling him kick inside me. It's almost as if he is commuicating with me through his little jabs and kicks. Right now he is all mine. Jerrod gets to feel him and see him move all the time, but it's not the same to him. The newnes of it has wore off for him. I feel it everyday and I sit there and talk to Wyatt as if he is truly understanding what I am saying to him.
I was watching a show in TLC called "bringing home baby" and I started crying when the couple brought home their son. In just a few short months that will be me and Jerrod. It was only a few months ago I found out I was pregnant. Now in a few months I will get to see him, hold him and cuddle him. Will I be the best parent he needs? Will I know what to do when he crys? I have had many experiences with many children. I mena c'mon I used to be a nanny for heaven sakes. I had twin 1 week olds and 2 girls runnin around. I had their house cleaned and dinner ready every night. I entertianed the two older girls and fed the boys all on my own. What makes me think I can handle a singleton? I guess it is the idea he is all mine. I don't want to screw this kid up. I have so many hopes and dreams. Will he be the next President? I can only pray he follows the path that God has created for him. I am praying I can be the mom he needs. I mean every son loves their mama. I mean c'mon guys loko for women who resemble their mom in some way or another. That brings me to another point, is there a girl out there that will be good enough for my son? Will she bring out the best in my son? Will he bring out the best in her?
Yesterday, Jerrod and i were driving home from dinner and he brought up a subject. We are getting a little chunck of $$$ from his land that is finally selling. I mean it's not alot, but it's money we didn't have before. When he first told me how much it was, i responded with are we going to give the church 10% as our tithe. In the Bible it says to give 10% of your money as an offering. But you need to give with a cheerful heart so you only give what you can be cheerful for. Now 10% is alot, but we would not have this money if it wasn't for God's hand upon this, so it is only right to give some of it back to do good works in someone elses life. So, anyways at first Jerrod kind of was like 10% that's alot. Then he told me last night that he wants to give 10% to the church. He said after I left work that day he started thinking about what I said and he felt it is what we should do. Now is that me bringing out the good in him? I mean would he of thought to do that if I hadn't said something?
Anyways...now that I have rambled on ;) I am ready to meet my son face to face...but I am not ready to share him yet! I guess thats why I still have 12 weeks before I have to share! :)

Baby Movements

So, baby Wyatt let Jerrod feel him kick! Jerrod had felt him before, but not as intense as this last time! Jerrod proceeded to text message his mom and told her. She replied back with, "Just wait till you see it move across her belly." Then a day after he really felt the baby kick...We were sitting down and I said, "watch!" Jerrod watched my belly and then bam! Wyatt kicked really hard and Jerrod was like, "WHOA!" He was super weirded out by it all! It was so funny!!! :) That is all!

Wedding day Bliss

*Picture courtsey of Dawn Marie Martinez @ http://radiant-reflections.smugmug.com/* Go check her out she does great work! :0)

So, the wedding is done and over with! It feels nice to be able to say that! I loved my princess day. It was more than I could have asked for. My HUSBAND wow that feels weird to type! :) Anyways, my husband and I are doing well. We are right where we want to be. Maybe not physically, but emotionally yes!
The day started out early in the morning. The girls and I got our hair done and then rushed home to do make-up as well. We all turned out AMAZING!

We were supposed to start at 1400(2pm). I was ready and waiting, but the 1st Sgt had arrived 5mins prior to the wedding and he was the one escorting my mom down the aisle. Not to mention we need out 6 Marines for the sword ceremony. After 2 make-up touch ups due to tears of putting on the dress and then seeing mom...goodness no wonder pregos don't get married! To emotional! lol It was time to get married. 1410 the ceremony began. As I approached the aisle the glass doors opened and there was my handsome husband to be! The tears started to flow again! :)

*Picture courtsey of Dawn Marie Martinez @ http://radiant-reflections.smugmug.com/* Go check her out she does great work! :0)
Finally I made it up to the alter and from there the Pastor took over. It was short and sweet and to the point. During our ring ceremony(when I was giving Jerrod his) I was crying all the way though it. At one point he took his right hand and wiped away my tears. Kaitlyn,

*Picture courtsey of Dawn Marie Martinez @ http://radiant-reflections.smugmug.com/* Go check her out she does great work! :0)
my maid of honor, told me she about lost it at that point! :) Instead of the tradtional unity candel we decided to do a sand ceremony. Which is amazing! Google it if you haven't heard of it! Here is a picture of the sand after it was all done with!



Then it was time to kiss my groom!!!

*Picture courtsey of Dawn Marie Martinez @ http://radiant-reflections.smugmug.com/* Go check her out she does great work! :0)


Then for the Marines to do the sword ceremony!


Well after that it was time for pictures, hellos, thank-you for comings, cake and party time! Finally around 2300(11pm) We went back to the hotel and passed out! There was no wedding nite nookie! ;) We just went to bed! The next morning we went to breakfast with his brother Justin and my parents. It was nice to be able to relax. My parents put on a great show! Now it is time to wait about 17 weeks and the next best day of my life will be here! :-)

Here are some other photos you may enjoy! There are some from all different cameras!

Hodge Podge of Info

Well, in less than a month I will be married and in about 5 months I will have a little mini me. I can't believe that time is passing so fast. The last couple days this kid has been super active. I was surprised how active it was yesterday. From like 5pm on it was in constant kick mode! Except when I put my hand on my belly it stops...as i type right now i am being kicked! lol When I am standing my belly button is almost flat...agh this means I will probably have an outtie! :/ I finally took my belly button ring out so that it doens't get all yucky.

Even with everything going on it has yet to become stressful! Thank goodness.

My Bridal shower was amzing! I got lots of nice stuff...even a naughty gift bag of stuff! Both of my bridesmaids were able to be there.

My cousin's twins are super adorable. Madie looks like here mama and Micah has small little features. He looks like a little doll. My cousin is recovering, but it is a long road ahead. They say it will be many months until she is back to normal. Her thigh is about 10 times the size of her otehr tigh! :(

Well, that is all for now...oh we find out what the baby is on monday at 245pm. Don't forget to vote!

GO VOTE...IT's your RIGHT

Go VOTE on waht you think my little Turkey will be!!! We find out Monday June 22nd...let's see who has a sixth sense!

Let's catch you up some!

Well, I wont lie this year has kicked off to be a doozy. Jerrod and I got back together, but it was never the same as last time. He changed somewhere along the line for the better. Very shortly after getting back together we were talking about weddings, or shall I say he brought up the word wedding. It was much to my surprise! I welcomed it. He was/is the one who has had my heart.

Valentine's Day:
Jerrod NEVER was a gift giver in our relationship in the past. So, when he was so excited about the upcoming relationship holiday, I was overwhelmed. I had to work that morning at 0530. I got up to Port Hueneme and we went to dinner with the neighbors, Harley and Dave. It was amazing! We had lobester, crab, shrimp, and steak! Other sides as well, but you know the works! We then went over to the VFW. It was actually a lot of fun. Jerrod and I danced our first dance that night. Pat sang for us Willie Nelson, "Always on my Mind". We then went home and he gave me my giftS! It was amazing!

Over the next few weeks it was all so normal. Weekends with him and weekdays away. I had a Roller Derby game on March 7th. That whole week I was feeling a little ill. I figured I had the flu. The following Saturday, March 14th, while on the phone with kari I decided to take a pregnancy test...well it came back very positive. From there it has been a whirl wind. Jerrod was very calm about the whole thing, even had some jokes. He made me comfortable with what was going on. He was in 29 Palms and not going to be home for some time. We called his family and let them know. They all were excited. (First grandbaby for them)

So, by my calculations of a LMP: 2/14/09 this little bundle of joy would be born near 11/21/09.

Now we have this bundle of joy on the way. Jerrod and I decided it would be best to get married before the baby was here. So we set a July 11th wedding date. We needed a ring! lol On April 11th we went to Kay's Jewelers and he bought my ring...I didn't get to be there, he put prego in the food court! lol I was somewhat disappointed when he didn't come back with my ring! Well, the following week it was supposed to ready for pick up....he went and came home and said it was not ready :( So, saturday the 18th when I thought I would have a ring I did not...I guess I have waited this long for it I could wait a little longer. We went to a VCDD (Ventura County Roller Derby) bout. Sunday morning he woke up early and I stayed in bed a little longer. I was in and out of sleep when I could feel someone starring at me. So, I opened my eyes and there was my Jerrod down on one knee with a ring in his hand. So, I was clearly surprised! (Now I am a drooler and always have sleepy sand in my eyes!) I wiped it all away and he asked, "Well?" I shook my head and saud, "Yes!"

Like I said Whirl Wind of a Year!

Now we are 17 weeks and 4 days pregnant....

My pregnancy has had it's ups and downs thus far...I have had a rough battle with morning sickness...which I thought we were over till yesterday...but hey one day in a week isn't bad! Then on Tuesday 6/9/09 I got up for work at 0430 and noticed I had started spotting! :( I hadn't done that at all through this whole pregnancy! It was very light in volume. color wise it was a dark brown mixed with a mucusy look. I was super frightned. Now Jerrod is in the feild in bridgeport, ca with NO RECPETION. I called my mom and she came and got me and took me to the BELLFLOWER KAISER PERMENANTE. I checked into the ER at 0500 and was poked for my blood and had the needle left in me just in case i was admitted and needed an IV. Well, we would have to wait till 0800 for an u/s tech. finally I got to go to the u/s area. The tech did his job...showed me my baby and my baby's heartbeat! So much relief was lifted at this point! He showed me that everything was fine! Well I was released to bed rest for a week. I contacted my doctor the next morning and he had me come in at 1330(130pm) for a check up. He did a pelvic exam and said my cervix is closed, long, and hard! Then did a vaginal ultrasound and said the reason for my spotting was b/c my placenta is near my cervix...which is not a problem since my uterus will grow and then move up!

SO, now we are to today YAY! Now I can blog freely...My story is caught up!